Inevitably, you will need to use the toilet on your first day, that’s a given BUT what you will need to do is ask people you have just met exactly where the toilet is. I know that everyone in life needs to use the loo and all that, but having to essentially announce you need to go to a bunch of people you have JUST met (and need to work with) just seems so incredibly awkward to me. 

2. FORGETTING PEOPLES NAMES AT LEAST 3 TIMES

How many times is it okay for you to re-ask someone their name? You meet 100 different people in the space of one week and suddenly your brain is expected to cope with ALL of these new names and it’s like ‘uh-uh, I don’t think so honey’! I would say it is acceptable to ask people twice, if you still don’t remember after that then you will spend the rest of your work life forever avoiding them or alternately just referring to them as hey, excuse me, you, oi etc.

3. MAKING THE TEA ORDER SO WRONG

Obviously you must offer to make tea because you need to make new BFF’s with everyone. At your old job, you knew just how everyone took their tea/coffee  - strong, tiny bit of milk, no sugar – but NOW, it’s a whole new kettle of fish. You feel confident that 7 people would like tea and as soon as you get to the kitchen your mind goes totally blank so you have to guess. So awkward when someone is like, is there sugar in this? Nooooo… maybe…. Who knows!

4. WHERE & WHAT TO EAT FOR LUNCH

You don’t know your new area well or where the best lunch spots are. You also know no one in the staff room so it is too awkward to sit in there. You are now forced to walk around aimlessly during your lunch break in search of food only to end up with a ready-made sandwich that you don’t even like. Plus, you don’t feel comfortable to eat at your desk just yet so you basically feel like Kady Heron in Mean Girls and want to eat lunch alone in the toilet. (In all seriousness, when you think about that properly, that’s pretty gross right?)

5. YOU HAVE NO WORK WIFE/HUSBAND (OR FRIENDS)

There is no one you can share your weekend gossip with yet! There is no one you can sneak off for a quick tea break with and no one to console you when you are stressing out – although if you are stressing out in your first week that may not be a good sign but you get my drift. Everyone has their work wife/husband and now you basically have to steal someone else’s – NOT IDEAL.

6. FOREVER GETTING LOST

Getting off on the wrong floor, walking into the wrong office or trying to navigate what feels like a maze trying to find the toilet. All of these things make you look like a rabbit in headlights with your new colleagues looking at you like you have gone mad as you pace back and forth around the building. It’s not obvious you are new AT ALL.

7. THE FEAR OF WEARING SOMETHING INAPPROPRIATE

People do not know how sassy you are just yet and you also don’t know the dress code/tone of the office. The fear in the first few weeks of turning up in something to short, too low cut or too sheer is enough to cause sleepless nights – NOONE wants to be labelled as the new girl that’s wear short skirts. That name is guaranteed to win you allllllll the wrong awards at the Christmas party.

8. FORGETTING THE CODES/LOGINS TO EVERYTHING

Codes for the printer, codes for the doors, codes for the lift, codes for the toilet, codes for EVERYTHING. Logins for your computer, logins for your HR drive, logins for your emails, logins for EVERYTHING. You can barely even remember the pin to your bank card let alone ten new logins and codes in one week. HELP!

9. TRYING TO WORK A WHOLE NEW COMPUTER SYSTEM

If you have been used to Windows but get greeted with a Mac or if you have been used to a Mac and get greeted by a Windows, you feel like an infant using a computer for the first time. Not a great first impression considering your new boss was expecting the person from the interview who said she was really great on a computer….!

10. HAVING THE WHOLE OLD AM I CONVO